Now she could see it
by Chotsu
Summary: Marinette knew, somewhere along the way, she would have found out Chat Noir's true identity. Only, she didn't expect it to happen like that. And she would have laughed for the irony of it all if only she wasn't breaking inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own "Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir", nor any of its characters. The cover image is mine.

 **Author's note** : Not only my first Miraculous fiction, but also my first written in English AND the first published on this website. Ugh, so many firsts…

Anyway, English is not my first language (as you can see) and not even the second or the third… for this reason, please, if something isn't right (grammar, spelling, etc.) point it out. Always trying to improve^^

Thank you for reading and enjoy!

-Chotsu

* * *

In hindsight, she thought it was before her all along.

Adrien Agreste. Chat Noir.

The model. The classmate. The friend. _The crush_.

The hero. The partner. The friend. _The crush_.

One bashful, one unashamed.

It was there before her eyes all along. And she knew, she knew, she knew. Somewhere, in the depth of her conscience, Marinette knew that one was the other and the other was the one. She knew but she decided to not see it. To cover her eyes with the image of Adrien, not even sparing a glance in Chat Noir's direction.

She decided to go blind.

She called herself many thing, but she decided self-deprecation wasn't going to help. Right now, she only opted for " _stupid_ ".

But love goes where love wants: if Adrien wasn't going to accept her love, then Chat Noir would be the one. She thought it was silly at the beginning, but it was him who searched for her on the most awful day of her life. It was him who gave her hope. It was him all along. But also, it was Adrien all along. Still, it was a fact unbeknownst to her, and she found herself falling for Chat Noir.

Once again, falling for Adrien Agreste.

 _If my life_ – she thought – _was a movie, then I bet there would be so many people laughing at me, at my stupidity, at my blindness, at my poor choices, at my… everything._

Because it was so ironic.

She herself would have laughed. Really.

If not for the fact she was crying her heart out.

 _One day_ , as the two of them- as _he_ said. One day maybe, she could laugh.

Because once, there were Adrien Agreste _and_ Chat Noir.

Then, Adrien Agreste _was_ Chat Noir and Chat Noir _was_ Adrien Agreste.

And now she could see it.

* * *

She stood still before him. Firmness in her blue eyes, ready to spill everything.

Marinette and Adrien were alone in the classroom. It was just a stroke of luck they were given one hour of detention because they fled school – for her part, Marinette couldn't possibly postpone the capture of a building-wrecking akuma on the other side of the city, while for Adrien she couldn't put her finger on it.

It was embarrassing and somewhat exciting hearing their classmates whisper about an "elopement".

He also stood there, a sweet toothy smile directed on her and only her, awaiting.

"There's something really important I want you to know…"

Two years after her hero debut, she found enough confidence to speak with Adrien without stuttering or babbling nonsense… or it was just Ladybug's attitude rubbing off on her. She didn't know, but she liked it.

Hearing those words, Adrien's posture went stiff and his expression took a solemn turn.

Marinette found it cute. Too cute.

With all her might, she repressed her giggle, mirroring his seriousness.

She swallowed deeply, summoning all her courage.

It was now or never.

"I really… really like you, Adrien."

It wasn't a decision she made on a whim. On the contrary, she thought about it for more than two weeks.

And it wasn't because she felt he had to know. Neither it was because she couldn't keep it in anymore. The only reason she confessed was that she truly believed he could love her back.

It was a matter of fact they were closer than before. They were _friends_.

They spoke, hung around… he went to her house more – _more_ – than once to do homework, school projects, or just to, well, stay together. Adrien seemed so happy whenever he was with her, of course Alya knew for she was the one to point it out – unbeknownst to Marinette and Andrien, Alya herself got closer with Nino while stalking their friends.

It was Adrien newfound attitude towards her that drove Marinette to confess.

But Alya didn't agree with her "sudden" decision. She should have waited.

And maybe she was right, because…

She had hope.

And she could see in Adrien's green, _sad_ eyes, her hope would soon be crushed.

* * *

Tikki was observing her holder's crunched form from atop the pillows.

The little kwami tried to comfort her, but Marinette didn't even seem to hear her. Her crying too loud for Tikki's quiet voice.

So she stood there watching her with great apprehension. Not quite fine with stepping aside, but sure it was the right thing to do. At the moment at least.

Now Marinette only needed time for herself, time to let it all out. To cry, to wail. Tikki was there for her, and Marinette knew it. But what Tikki knew, was that Marinette Dupain-Cheng was the strongest girl Paris had ever seen. After all, there was a reason if Tikki chose, out of all the people in the world, Marinette as her holder.

Marinette would overcame it all.

* * *

It was late that night when Marinette opened her red-rimmed eyes. She was sure she heard something.

Tikki's little form was sitting on her belly, obviously awake to keep her safe from akumas or every other evil.

The girl sweetly and sourly smiled, touched from the kindness of her kwami but also guilty because, after all, it was her own fault if the hero of Paris needed protection for she was too weak to fight back her emotions.

"Tikki…" she lamented with drowsy voice, still confused about her sudden awakening "Have you heard anything?"

"Yes." answered softly her kwami "But I didn't want to leave you alone."

Petting gently her big red head, Marinette got up from her bed and went toward her balcony while Tikki hid between the girl's loose hair and neck.

At first, she saw nothing strange and she was about to get back in her room until she spotted in the dark two glowing green eyes.

It was… unexpected.

* * *

 _This night I was up and about, paw-trolling the city, when I suddenly realised where I was!_

She watched him with an unamused frown: he was rolling on her pink couch, playing with a ball of wool Marinette gave him only to make him shut up.

 _Then I thought: why not come and meet up with my_ meow _-velous_ purr _-incess?_

In hindsight, she thought it was a really pathetic excuse. But right that moment, she was glad to have something to occupy her mind with.

Marinette didn't know but, if Chat Noir wasn't a constant before, now he surely was.

He begun to show up on her balcony, night after night. And, while her heart kept on stinging, she found Chat Noir's company rather entertaining.

He was… so caring. So attentive. Chat Noir was always there for her. When she needed to laugh he became funny. When she needed to cry, he became the shoulder to cry on. When she was ill, he was there with a hot infusion. When she was down he was there to keep her up.

And just like that, Chat Noir became the friend she lost in Adrien.

It was curious to say the least. Later on, she would say ironic.

Ladybug always appreciated Chat Noir as a partner. Even as a potential-friend. But not Marinette.

When Marinette was Ladybug, she and the black cat of Paris were two heroes, bounded with the same destiny. Two souls who could understand each other, even though they were nothing more than acquaintances. Nevertheless, Chat always tried to establish a relationship with her – and she wasn't _s_ o stupid, she knew what kind of relationship he wanted – only to see his attempt go to waste.

But Marinette and Chat Noir, they lived in two completely different worlds, and it was for this reason that she felt so surprised when she realised how at ease she was with him.

It was the first time in which Marinette _truly_ understood she and Ladybug were the same person. She already knew it, but she seemed to realise it only thank to her developing relationship with her Chaton as Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

So, while her love – and heartache – for Adrien faded in the background, what she felt for the black-leathered hero grew night after night.

"Why did you came here?" she asked one night.

Chat Noir, humming approvingly over her sketchbook – he also was so supportive – only answered tilting cutely his head.

"I mean… when you first came here, two months ago. Tell me the truth."

Sensing the seriousness in his princess voice, he closed the sketchbook, giving her his full attention.

"I…" he hesitated "I saw you, that day, as my civilian self. You were running home at full speed. Crying." he stopped. She could see him tasting the words in his mouth "I guess I was worried? I… you know, I was afraid you'd be akumatized…"

Seeing her face darken, he tried to recover "Don't _cat_ me wrong! I was looking _fur_ -ward to pass some quality time with my won- _fur_ -ful _purr_ -incess! _Two cats with one bird_!"

She couldn't resist his last sentence: she burst out laughing.

But of course it wasn't the truth.

The truth wasn't in his words, it was in his actions.

Marinette would have found out in due time.

* * *

She was once again in love.

Completely, utterly, indissolubly, undoubtedly in love.

She couldn't do anything about it.

Tikki said it was too soon. Alya said it was only a mean to forget Adrien – although her best friend wasn't aware who the "mysterious boy" was.

But Marinette was sure about her feeling. She and she alone knew what was in her heart. It had to be love. Nothing else. Love.

Love. Love. Love.

She was in love with Chat Noir.

She was in love with the person behind the black mask.

She didn't have a clue about his true identity, but it just didn't matter. She would unconditionally love whoever hid behind his mask.

It was foolish – oh so foolish – of her to love the hero of Paris. It was foolish also to think the hero in question would love her back. But…

He loved Ladybug.

And Marinette was Ladybug.

Only, he didn't know.

It didn't matter: if he loved Ladybug, he surely could love her too. They were the same person after all!

"You know… I wouldn't have been akumatized."

Her eyes watched, so fond of him, as he turned around toward her. His black suit blending with the shadows. His green eyes so mesmerizing.

They would see each other again the next night.

"Ti- _meow_ -t _purr_ -incess. What do you mean?"

She smiled.

"I don't hold grudges against Adrien. I didn't then and definitely I don't now. He… didn't love me back. I should have known. And I was sad, but never… angry. I didn't want to hurt him, nor to force him to love me. So… I wouldn't have been akumatized."

Marinette took a deep breath before going on "And I'll keep on loving him. Not… not as before. As a friend. Even though we don't talk much right now, we're still friends!"

She watched as his posture suddenly relaxed, as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Then Marinette, flashing a loving smile, added "But… thank you Chat. You helped me so much! I'm so… glad you decided to come and see how I was doing. I wouldn't have recovered so quickly without you."

She turned around, heading toward her room.

From inside, her voice resonated once again.

"See you tomorrow!"

Unexpectedly, the day after, Adrien spoke to her after nearly two months of silence.

* * *

 _I'm sorry Marinette._

That was so ironic.

"I'm sorry Marinette."

She was sure the universe was laughing at her because… who wouldn't laugh?

Because it was happening once again.

 _I'm really sorry but I… I can't return your feelings._

She knew Chat Noir loved Ladybug, so why…?

"I'm really sorry but I… I can't return your feelings."

He was crying. He was crying and she too was crying. They were hopeless, so hopeless.

Her mind was on autopilot.

Once again she confessed and once again… she was being refused.

"I understand…" she answered. But it was not true: she didn't understand.

Why? Why was he refusing her?

She thought, she thought he saw Ladybug in her! She addressed him the same way Ladybug did, she adopted every aspect of her other self, of herself!

Was he really so blind for Ladybug to not see the true Ladybug was there, in front of him, only without her mask?

 _I'm in love with someone else._

"I'm in love with someone else."

His hands were cupping her face, gently, trembling.

Her hands were around his wrists, loosely, faintly.

Her blue eyes completely lost.

Because…

 _One day…_

"One day…"

 _I'm sure you'll find someone else better than me._

"I'm sure you'll find someone else better than me."

 _Someone who will accept your love and love you back._

"Someone who will accept your love and love you back."

Because… she already knew those lines.

She recognized those words, their positions.

The only difference was, the first time she heard them she wasn't crying, she was smiling. She was smiling because Adrien's green eyes were glistening and sorrowful, and she didn't want to hurt him more than how he was hurting himself. The first time she heard them, she was gripping him tightly, too afraid to let go because, if she let go she would also broke down and then her previous purpose would have gone to waste.

Realization hit her like a train.

All the pieces went to their right places.

Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir and Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste.

She would have laughed for the irony of it all if only she wasn't breaking inside.

It was now so clear why she fell in love with Chat Noir so quickly.

They were the same person.

She fell in love with Adrien first. She then fell out of love only to fall for him again.

For the _same_ person.

And the two of them- _he_ refused Marinette for Ladybug. Her alter ego. Herself.

And it was just so… ironic.

He was still there, she realized, weeping. Strangled words coming out of his mouth. Ramblings with no meaning whatsoever.

Marinette was calm. Tears were streaming down her face, but she was calm. Almost surrendered before the truth.

It was a low murmur, but Chat Noir's- _Adrien_ 's keen hearing grasped easily her words.

"What does Ladybug have that I don't?"

He sobbed.

He was her friend. Adrien was her friend. Chat Noir was her friend. And he was sad because he was hurting her. And she understood that.

She gathered all her strength – she couldn't stand the vision of his pain-filled expression.

Because she loved Adrien. She loved Chat Noir.

And now she could see it.

"Please, don't cry…" she hushed "What I said for Adrien, goes for you too. We are friends and we will be friends. Nothing will change that." but then, she couldn't keep it in anymore "Just, please… now leave."

Watching him go she understood something: Adrien was just like herself.

Too blind for his love for Ladybug, he didn't even spare a glance in Marinette direction.

Because there weren't Marinette Dupain-Cheng _and_ Ladybug.

But Marinette Dupain-Cheng _was_ Ladybug and Ladybug was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And Adrien still couldn't see it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** So, here I am with the conclusion of this fiction. I'm sorry for it is not as _conclusive_ as you may think^^ I don't plan to continue this so here is an open ending for you :) If something is not quite clear, feel free to ask me!

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, favorites and follows! Hope you like it, enjoy!

-Chotsu

* * *

In hindsight, he thought it was behind him all along.

Ladybug. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

She, his love interest. She, the one who hold his heart tightly in her hands. She, who discarded his every attempts to win her over.

He, her love interest. She, who got rejected by him – by Chat Noir, by Adrien. She, who got hurt more than once. Not only when he _officially_ rejected her, but also every time he, as Adrien, tried to talk to her in class. Every time he, as Chat Noir, dragged on and on their night patrols, forcing his presence on her.

It was there behind his eyes all along. And he knew, he knew, he knew. Somewhere, in the depth of his conscience, Adrien knew that one was the other and the other was the one. He knew but he decided to not see it. To cover his eyes with the image of Ladybug, not even sparing a glance in Marinette's direction.

He decided to go blind.

He decided to acknowledge Marinette as his friend, and nothing more. He wanted Ladybug. He wanted her and only her. He wanted the girl with the mask, not taking in account her identity. Thinking he would love her all the same. Thinking he would recognize her deep bluebell eyes, her sweet voice, her unique fragrance everywhere.

But he was a fool.

What he did was to search for Ladybug, for the girl with the mask _on_. Not for the girl with the mask _off_.

Not only that, he also searched in every corner, every street and every balcony of Paris, in every face he didn't know – the thought she could actually be _near_ never crossed his mind.

And he found himself laughing, hot tears streaming down his face.

 _You must be laughing too_ – he thought, staring blankly at the ceiling – _you put her in my class, right behind me._

He only had to turn around to see her. Nothing more. She was _right there_.

Because once there were Ladybug _and_ Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Then Ladybug _was_ Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Marinette Dupain-Cheng _was_ Ladybug.

He was a fool.

And now he could see it.

* * *

Fleeing from her home – crying, sobbing and stumbling in the process – he found himself thinking about the girl of his dreams and the girl whose heart got broken two times. Guiltiness dominated his troubled soul, immediately followed by anger and sadness.

He thought it was the right thing to do at the beginning. He was convinced.

He was going to make Marinette feel good after he rejected her that first time. He wanted to correct all his wrongs. He wanted her to be happy. He really, really wanted to see her smile brightly again, without the grief, the hurt, he caused.

Adrien wanted her to overcome his rejection.

At the same time, he couldn't wait for time to mend her wounds. It was too sorrowful.

He was egoistic.

He wanted to be the one to bring her smile back, even though he was the one who stole it away for good.

Because he wanted her to feel good… but he too wanted to feel good again.

He was egoistic, but he realized it too late.

And it was to be expected: even unknowingly Marinette, faithful to her love for Adrien, fell for Chat Noir.

In the end, his plan backfired, leaving the two of them separated and broken.

The cold wind dried in vain his tears, for every time it happened, a new river overflew from his eyes.

He was such a fool.

There he was, crying like a baby as if _he_ was the one who got rejected. But what could he do? For his egoism he hurt one of his good friend, _another_ _time_. As if the first time wasn't enough. Like adding salt on a wound.

What a petty cat he was.

When his feet touched his room floor, Chat Noir detransformed becoming Adrien once again.

He let himself fall on his knees, crying like he did only few times in his life. Floating only a few inches away from him, Plagg stared at his holder with sad green eyes.

He wished for friends. He wished for Ladybug to be his lady. It wasn't too much, right? He didn't wish for something impossible, like his father's love or his mother's return. It was feasible, wasn't it?

Then why everything had to go that way? What did he do wrong? What did _Marinette_ do wrong? Why did the Universe hated them so much?

Little did he know the Universe was actually rewarding them.

What a petty irony it was.

* * *

For a moment. For a moment Adrien thought to end the friendship between Marinette and him. Or rather, what remained of it.

The next day the air at school was tense. The girl resumed her forced silence while his guilt wouldn't even let him look in her general direction.

But, what he thought one moment, he thought more moments. The moments became a minute. More minutes. Hours. He couldn't think of anything else. It was just a… lost cause.

"I wonder what's going on with Marinette…"

It was the end of class and as soon as the bell rang the girl, followed by her worried best friend, left the room in a rush. Nino was just wondering aloud, he didn't expect an answer. Not from Adrien at least.

The blond clenched his teeth, forcing himself not to spit the truth in the face of his friend. He found himself hissing a quiet _I don't know_ and frustration built up in his body.

He knew. He knew everything that happened from the first failed confession to right that moment and he couldn't say anything about it. He was the one who caused things to go down and he just couldn't speak. Not without omit his secret superhero identity.

He had to hide the truth for his own and Ladybug's benefit. But then… what about Marinette? Did she deserve to suffer like this? Was it the right thing to keep Nino out of this story, away from her? To not give him the opportunity to comfort her? She needed all the help a friend could give, and all he was really doing was to keep Nino, one of her _friends_ , away from her.

Because he was a fool. He couldn't bring himself to spill everything… in respect of Ladybug. He couldn't betray her like that.

The more he thought, the more _buts_ accumulated in his head.

He felt as if it was going to implode, tears already threatening to fall.

Barely whispering a goodbye to Nino, he rushed out of the classroom.

It was too much for a day.

* * *

Maybe he wasn't in his right mind. Maybe his ruined relationship with Marinette made him see non-existent things. He couldn't really say why but… Ladybug was strange. She was strange in his regards. She was still Ladybug, brave heroine of Paris, holder of the creation power and of his heart… still, something was off about her.

For a week now, she took the habit to do her work efficiently, without any waste of time – they met on the _Tour_ _Eiffel_ , nothing out of the ordinary, only to split up to patrol after a quick greeting; they met again to exchange basic information, only to crown it all with a fleeing Ladybug and a dumbfounded Chat Noir.

But Chat Noir was a _curieux_ _chat_ : he was going to uncover her secret, he was going to help her.

Only because he failed with Marinette, that didn't mean he should quit helping people – even more so if in these _people_ , his _love_ was included.

As the cat of action he was, he acted before thinking: as soon as he saw her yoyo extended, he grabbed her shoulder but, as it was too late to stop, they took flight. While the red-clad hero landed gracefully on the roof of a nearby building, poor Chat Noir crashed face down at her feet.

"You stupid cat, what are you doing?!"

Rubbing his nose, he directed her a bright smile. He didn't notice the unusual malice in her words, so it was confusing seeing her sighing only to apologize a moment later.

"Do you want to tell me something?"

As socially inept as he could be, he wasn't apathetic. Maybe it was hard sometimes distinguish similar shades of emotions, but it wasn't something he couldn't do. And, by the way, the sadness in her only slighty shaking voice and the effort engraved in her eyes were quite obvious.

It took him three minutes to open his mouth, and one more to say something.

"Ladybug, I..." he swallowed "You are weird."

"What." she deadpanned, only a masked eyebrow raised.

He shivered, realizing his mistake.

"No, wait! I mean… What's bugging you, my lady?"

She stared at him, hard. He wasn't sure what was going on in her mind, but she seemed conflicted. He hoped she would say something, anything… but as she lowered her gaze, almost surrendered, he understood he wasn't going to hear her beautiful melancholic broken voice.

But then, his lady proved him wrong.

And they stayed there, his green eyes gaping in the night and her hands clasped on her mouth, as if she said it unconsciously.

Her words ricocheted in the air, Chat Noir's heart motionless.

 _I confessed._

He could see the guiltiness in Ladybug's face. She knew this would have hurt him. She knew, but she said it anyway.

Because he knew the implication: Ladybug loved someone, and that someone… wasn't him.

* * *

Adrien couldn't think at anything else. Not even to Marinette. He knew it was despicable of him… Marinette was his friend and he hurt her. He should be there racking his brain to find a solution to his problem but… he simply couldn't. He couldn't and he hated it.

Instead he was there, racking his brain guessing who _lucky_ _boy_ could be.

Truth was he could have been any boy in Paris for all he knew.

He was hopeless. A hopeless friend and a hopeless suitor.

Sighing, he stood up from his bed. Out of the windows _la Ville Lumière_ came to life, not even a single star was visible in the sky.

With a motion of his hand, magic swirled around him and in the place of Adrien Chat Noir stood proudly.

It was once again patrol time and, for once in his life he wasn't feeling excited to meet with Ladybug. Or rather, the jealous cat in him wasn't.

He jumped out of the windows, quietly hissing to himself. He would get to the bottom of this, that night.

Like a few nights before he had to stop her, but this time he managed to save his face, for he did it before she could take her leave.

"My lady, please… stay a bit more."

Once again she seemed conflicted: everything in her face screamed _no_ , but for some unknown reason she was paralyzed there.

And then, she surprised him yet again.

Ladybug sighed deeply, all the tension pent up on her shoulders slipped away in a second. She sat down on the floor; from their place on the _Tour_ _Eiffel_ , the whole enlightened city developed in front of them.

"I guess you want to talk about something."

Chat Noir sat immediately after, staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Well… yes. I- I need to know: who is him?! Do- do I know him?!" he asked without thinking. Realizing his mistake, he tried to correct himself but her sudden laugh stopped him in mid-action.

A sour smile found his way on her face, gloominess in her eyes.

"It's a bit too hard answering to that, Chat Noir…"

"Ah, yeah, of course…" after a moment to recollect his thoughts he asked "Well then, was it so bad? The confession, I mean…"

She giggled but it was clear to Chat Noir she did it to mask a hiccup.

"Worse than bad, actually…"

"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that, Ladybug. Really." his black cat ears flattened on his head "I know what it feels like to love someone and not be loved back."

They shared a moment of silence, a slight breeze running through their hair. Chat Noir could see new emotions battling and mixing on his lady's face. He didn't know what else to say. But when he saw her lowering her head burying it between her knees, he felt this vicelike grip squeezing hard his heart. Words flowed from his mouth, overwhelming.

"But I'm here! I'm here to make you feel better! I only want to see you happy! I can also help you to win this guy over, I don't mind! I-"

But he stopped.

It was a slight motion at the beginning, but soon wails followed and he realized Ladybug was crying.

Her words feeble, but he managed to grasp them.

"Why can't you see me…?"

He almost put a hand on her trembling shoulder when she suddenly raised her head. With a determined expression she stood up, unconcerned by her wet cheeks.

She turned to watch him, right in front of her.

She smiled, sincerely, brightly, lovingly. A smile that didn't belong to Ladybug but to someone else he couldn't pick.

"I'd be glad to take you up on your offer, but before I do… you have to turn around."

He was now confused.

"What? Ladybug-"

"Chat Noir." she interrupted "Turn around."

And he did.

He saw nothing out of the ordinary.

When he turned once again towards his lady, questions already on his lips, she wasn't there anymore.

* * *

"Everyone please, turn around!"

That was so ironic.

 _Turn around Chat Noir._

He could not.

Every fiber of his entire being itched to do it but his mind screamed not to. If he did, if he really turned around, his vision would be shattered – or healed – and he would have to face the consequences. Consequences of a fool's actions. Consequences of _his_ actions.

 _Why can't you see me…?_

Why did he not want to see her? Why? Was he so disappointed?

 _Turn around._

Of course he was.

He wanted to disappear, right then and there. He hoped with all his being for an akuma attack, but of course it didn't happen: after all, the Universe had to take revenge on him. Revenge because he nothing but _spitted_ on the gift _It_ gave him – not only one, but two times in a row.

He was disappointed, yes. Because he had one chance – two, actually – and he discarded them as both Adrien and Chat Noir.

 _Turn around._

Yes.

He would turn around and face her head on.

He would…

 _Turn around._

No.

How could he?

Looking at her, _seeing_ her, seemed a concept so far away right now. How could he _dare_ to _even_ turn in her general direction? After all the pain he forced her through?

He broke her heart two times, but he himself wasn't heartless – and actually, his heart was split in two. The more egoistical side wanted him to turn, look at her, smile at her, _see her_ , take her in his arms regardless of the audience and never leave her alone. On the contrary, the more caring and selfless side – which was way bigger than the other one – wanted him to stay put because he simply wasn't worthy of her… not after he tossed aside her feelings for his own.

 _Chat Noir, turn around._

It was so ironic.

And a very dumb way to find it out.

"Adrien, turn around."

He was sweating as the entire class turned toward him. Mme Bustier words hanging in the air. Everyone, already paired up for the little project, whispered about his obvious uneasiness, unknowingly making it grow.

"Adrien, are you okay?"

No, he was not.

He could sense _her_ eyes pierce into his nape.

She was behind him all along, from the very start of that miraculous adventure.

She was behind him and he never turned around.

Not even now.

His classmates voices were growing louder and louder in his head, his heart clenched in a choking grip, his breaths fast, too fast.

And then it all stopped.

Shaking, his vision blurry, he felt a feathered touch on his shoulder – kind, soothing – from behind him.

A gasp escaped his mouth.

 _Turn around Chat Noir._

"Adrien…"

 _Why can't you see me…?_

 _Turn Around._

"Adrien…"

 _Turn around._

The familiar sense of oppression started to build up once again, this time not because of his loud classmates or his worried teacher. She was there, calling for him to do something, anything. And although he wanted to, he could do nothing, paralyzed in his place, helpless in his condition.

 _Chat Noir._

"Don't worry, there's no rush. I'm not angry. And I'm waiting for you."

He didn't know what she meant with that statement. He didn't know if she said it in relation to her first confession – and so her first rejection – or because she found out who he was and was giving him a third chance. A laugh barely formed deep in his throat. As unlikely as it might be, he hoped for the latter.

And, in case it was the right option, was it right to accept it? To accept another chance?

But then again there was no right or wrong. The choice was merely between _want to_ and _don't want to_ , and the only parameter of choice was egoism.

Because there was no lying to himself: he wanted Marinette, he wanted Ladybug.

She and only she would decide if he was worthy of her or not.

It was so simple, yet… not.

Because there weren't Marinette Dupain-Cheng _and_ Ladybug.

But Marinette Dupain-Cheng _was_ Ladybug and Ladybug _was_ Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

So, he took a deep breath.

 _Turn around._

And now he could see it.


End file.
